butterflyobsession

I wanted to write this piece to give an update on how I am doing and how I’ve been dealing with the past couple of years. I just posted about my most recent project, Eat Like A Local St Lucia, check it out. It’s the post before this one. Although I have not had a schedule I have tried to be consistent with posting some stories and poetry but not too often.

The pandemic hit everyone differently but it hit almost everyone. I took that time to slow down and work on my mental health. I thought if the world was at a standstill, maybe that was my excuse to dive in and uncover who I am and hopefully unlock my potential. My potential for success, a steady income and fulfilling my dreams. I can say that the world has stopped so I don’t have to produce results right now.

Broke chicks DIY their mental health. I made peace with the fact that I would have to fix myself on my own. I did it slowly and carefully and my patience is paying off.

Starting this blog I had hoped that above all I would not quit. I was taking a leap and trusting that being a writer, an author was within my realm of possibility. I wanted to know that I could do it. These types of experiments take time. Impatient me hunkered down and years later, I can say that I am proud of myself.

I did not quit. When my laptop broke, I did not quit. When I felt imposter syndrome, I did not quit.

I journaled and meditated. I followed a process for writer’s block. I did shadow work, and mirror work and I spent time with myself. Uncomfortable time, uneasy, angry, sad, and confused, I sat with myself and loved myself. It was unbearable some days. I would go to sleep feeling like a failure but wake up having learned the much-needed lesson.

Recently, I read over this entire blog, and compared to when I started, I can see clearly how I’ve grown as a person and a creator. I’m present now. I make the effort to live in the moment and to reach for the thoughts and things that feel good to me. I grow with the flow of life and accept the good things it has to offer. For so long I had only seen the bad.

I had made an effort before the pandemic to explore being more social and expanding my circle of friends. It did not go as planned but I learned so much and have found a great community on Twitter where I learn so much from other writers and like-minded people.

I am not yet where I want to be financially but mentally I can say the journey of getting there is no longer a daunting task. I look forward to it.

The wonderful journey that is life has brought me to now and I am having fun living here.

Thank you for joining me and I hope you stay.